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Arsene Wenger
Arsene Wenger

Funny Sports:Arsene Wenger to be rewarded with 'indefinate' contract extension

Written by Gideon Sarpong
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Arsene Wenger is set to sign a new contract extension to remain as Arsenal manager forever, as reward for the club's remarkable consistency in recent seasons.

The Gunners have qualified for the Champions League for the past 19 years under the Frenchman's management and have never failed to be knocked out of the competition.

After a turbulent period where the club was eliminated in quarter-finals, a semi-final and once came dangerously close to winning the trophy, Wenger managed to steady the ship.

Now the Frenchman is now on the brink of achieving an unprecedented seventh straight last 16 exit.

"People talk about Real Madrid as the benchmark in European football,"" said club spokesman Gunnersaurus. "But Arsene is on the brink of overtaking Madrid's incredible Champions League record.

"Madrid were only knocked out six seasons in a row at the last 16 stage (2005-2010), yet here we are about to eclipse that feat."

But some Arsenal fans have reacted angrily to the news Wenger's contract will be extended despite Man United, Bayern Munich, Chelsea and Liverpool all welcoming the news.

"Oga nhye hye won nyinaa", in otherwords "Fire burn all of them" complained one irate Arsenal fan.

Wenger, however, maintains belief in his team. Speaking after Arsenal's 5-1 defeat away to Bayern Munich, the Gunners boss said: "I believe we have character and mental strength in the team.

"OK, the character is Mickey Mouse and the mental strength is that of a goldfish, but I believe in the second leg we will do all will can to achieve a pointless 2-1 win.

"At the moment, everybody questions us, yet the fact is we are definitely closer to the final this year.

"Last season it was in Italy, but this time it will be in Wales and I might even be able to get a ticket.

"And no matter how embarrassing we are, you know we always finish above Spurs."

 

Satire